Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression

Relational aggression is described as any behavior that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating relationships with others (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995).  Unlike other types of bullying, relational aggression is not as overt, or noticeable as physical aggression.  However, the effects can be long lasting. Studies have shown that males tend to use more physical aggression and victimization than females.  Both boys and girls intend to inflict harm but there are differences in how they express these feelings.  Females tend to use more covert forms of aggression to express their anger.  Many feel that our society places value on girls “being nice” and teaches codes of behavior about what is appropriate.  These expectations can lead to finding more discreet ways to express feelings.

In pre and early adolescence, much value is placed on friendships and social connections.  Thus, relational aggression is seen as peaking in these years.  RA has been noted as early preschool age and can continue into adult workplaces.  In the past, many of these behaviors were dismissed and seen as “rites of passage” or even normal behavior.  However, the harmful effects are being recognized as anything but normal.  In fact, the National Education Association reports that as many as 160,000 kids miss school every day out of fear of being victimized by such behaviors.

Research shows that students who have been the targets of RA have increased depression, lower GPA, increased anxiety and sadness, more anger, eating disorders and loneliness.  Students who tend to be relationally aggressive have been shown to become increasingly more depressed, rejected, withdrawn and delinquent.